How Carlin Fans 'Write' Comedy

Here are some excerpts from my statements of the last six months or so. The other day, I heard that someone named Matthew is in prison. Is he one of your friends? Does he scour my statements for little tidbits like the following that he can compile into a fraud stand-up routine with words taken from my most serious posts? That's all George Carlin did. November 16, 2015: ...Are you Chinese? So am I. I've lived in downtown Vancouver for over twenty years now. Bruce Lee is my idol. He was proud of achieving fame and fortune without compromising his beliefs, or 'being honest'. He disliked being called a star, saying that 'star is an illusion.' I know I'm not getting any younger, but Confucius didn't make it until he was fifty-two. Confucius had a gift for being able to accurately analyze individuals. When he shared his findings with them, it ended up holding back his progress in society. Few argue with his wisdom now. Have I ever told you about my family? I have six brothers and one sister...Well, I better go get some chow... January 2, 2016: ...entertainment weeklies, you know, those awful things that offer themselves as the quintessential cultural guide in every city across the land. They always try to pass themselves off as anti-establishment when they're built around pages and pages of full page ads. They tell you when its cool to love Vincent Van Gogh and when it's time to reject him in favor of Toulouse-Lautrec. They care about the poor but they're determined to get all the yuppies out visiting smart restaurants ha ha ha ha January 7, 2016: ...Beware the corporate print media (the Assassinating Press)... January 29, 2016: ...does an innocent person deserve to suffer so much at the hands of criminals? A scientologist would say yes. They believe we all have it coming because of past offenses in previous lives. Look how Jesus was crucified. They must think he was a real monster. January 31, 2016: ...Other psychopaths include Ted Bundy and Paul Bernardo. Notice, too, how these men were clean cut and well groomed, just like those evil reporters on TV. You can't judge a book by its cover, as they say. February 5, 2016: ...This weekend we celebrate the most important holiday of the year: Chinese New Year. That's when my people get together to show Americans who invented fireworks. And we all dress up as zodiac signs and go on parade. February 14, 2016: ...I've been watching a DVD of a History Channel series about ancient aliens. They said that alien supermen found our women attractive. Let me tell you, their women are attracted to our men, as well: the kind of men who have a good sense of humor and who know how to rock. I think they have extremely good taste. April 5, 2016: ...Denial of Death. Why didn't they call it that? That's a much better title. Yes, he theorized that death anxiety was the chief driving force behind human aggression and violence. So how many ways are you going to rephrase it in this documentary? This topic is too dry for a documentary, it belongs in a lecture hall. All this film does is take a university lecture and punctuate it with a bunch of random images and pan across cemeteries with sappy music in the background. Well, when I think of Ernest Becker's book, I don't feel like playing If I Were a Carpenter in a graveyard. Just a few excerpts which did not take long to compile. Once those pricks are finished with them, no one can recall what I was writing about and I am accused of 'hacking' my content because I'm not on the TV making an ass out of myself on a stage with my statements. And the crime does not cease after the first round of offenders have been incarcerated, as was the case in 2013 for offenders of my copyrights. The corporate sponsored crime continues on as corporations use their money bags to mock the good efforts of our most conscientious police and lawyers. Who wants to contribute to rape relief? Did you need the broadcasting pricks who raped my work and raped my fans to ask for a donation on your behalf? Then they'll take your money and hold it up to the world as evidence of their generosity. Maybe you should wait for their campaign to end before you make your donation. Are we saved by good deeds? I agree with Martin Luther that we can not be saved by good deeds, only by God's grace. This media campaign for rape relief is strictly to repair their image at the further expense of their victim. It has all the authenticity of a papal indulgence. On the other hand, Saint Paul was a murderer who was touched by God's grace on the road to Damascus and saved. If you have been touched by God's grace, your deeds will manifest God's presence. I see no evidence of God's grace in the actions of anyone who either committed or celebrated the Satanic fraud that has been committed with my online posts over the last seventeen years. The 'heaven' the media prepares for them is made entirely out of nasty lies and will profoundly disappoint them.
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© 2016. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.