Stop Trusting Newspapers

I always have problems listening to my new songs after I post them online. The older songs seem less cluttered. It's like there's this gang of people who wait for me to post a new song so they can jump all over it and bash it with every dirty trick in the book. Maybe it's that huge gang of spoiled celebrities. Did you read the Vancouver Sun in 2009? Jay Leno was reported to be the funniest man in the world. That must be why they let him steal so many hundreds of my posts and broadcast them in his monologue. That must be why they let him put the Shards on the Tonight Show when the band stole my new song Virtue in 2007. And they talked about his money so you could admire his success. He has 150 million dollars. And he let me stand in the rain and wait in soup lines for handouts as I starved to pay my high rent in my old apartment. They like to praise people who build their careers out of stealing my web posts. You should also admire Seal because Seal is a grandfather. Oh, how nice! And without Seal, you wouldn't have had Justin Bieber. Oh, hooray for Seal! What pioneer. Is he incarcerated for stealing my hits? people like this have been rewarded for committing crimes with my work. And how much money did they say Justin Bieber made? Fifty million? Well, you better trust him more than you trust me because he has so much more money than I do.
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© 2016. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.