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Heads up, everyone! Prepare to receive a transmission from (hall echo:) the Observatory. Did you like the echo? That's the sound of this vast, hollow dome. Natural reverb. We have to mask it out most of the time. Do you believe in extraterrestrial visitors? The government can't hide them from us forever. And if all those abductees got together, they could get a representative elected to congress and before long they'll be introducing ancient alien theory into public classrooms. And if you still reject UFO's after that, you'll be declared obsolete and no employer will hire you. So think ahead and keep an open mind about ET's before you wind up on the street. The best way to prepare for an extraterrestrial encounter is to take it in steps. Start by shaking hands with a LINIX user. From there, maybe you can say hi to someone from Madagascar, and so forth, until you're ready for ET's. Teach yourself to smile and to show no fear when you greet strangers. As long as you're nice, the aliens will see that everything is put back where they found it when they finish with you. Aliens advanced enough to cross interstellar space would have evolved well beyond any primal drive for material conquest. Whatever we've got, I'm sure they're willing to share it with us. It's not like when technologically advanced Europeans landed in America. They only knew how to cross the ocean. Still, watch out for the skinny ones in black robes - especially whose appearance is accompanied by the onset of a choking pink fog. If you see one of them, pray he didn't see you. For some of you, mind altering drugs may be necessary to convert your brain to the new reality. You may access this powerful medicine through a qualified shaman. Family physicians reserve it strictly for cancer patients. It won't be necessary to abandon your religion, as long as your God is the master of the whole universe. However, you may need to think bigger when it comes to loving your neighbour. That's all I can think of for now, but we'll have more far out findings for you next week on the Observatory. Transmission complete. |
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| © 2016. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Thursday, February 18, 2016
The Observatory
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