(A grade six class. The teacher responds to a girl's raised hand.) Teacher: Yes, Susan? Susan: Grover's sniffing my hair again. Teacher: Grover, are you sniffing Susan's hair? Grover: (seated behind Susan) No, ma'am. Susan: He's lying! Teacher: Susan, your hair defense is your own responsibility. Announcer: Introducing the Pathogena Hair Defense System. One squirt fortifies your follicles with millions upon millions of the very latest in genetically engineered carnivorous microorganisms. Stays infectious for up to twenty-four hours. Immunization mandatory for all purchasers. (The classroom. The students take turns reading out loud from a book.) Teacher: It's your turn, Grover. Grover: (nose bleeding, clutching his throat) I can't breathe. Teacher: Grover, if you can't keep up with the others, I'm going to have to put you in a remedial class. Announcer: Pay sniffers back with the Pathogena Hair Defense System. Pathogena: nose knows bounds. |
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© 2016. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Tuesday, February 16, 2016
The Pathogena Hair Defense System
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